Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Bus Blog

This morning on the bus, a dialogue:

Emily enters bus with a million pounds of crap, sits down next to tall blond Austrian dude

t-bad: You have enough stuff dere, ya?
em: Ha, ha. Yeah.
t-bad: You having good semesta at school?
em: Um, I’m not a student. I work. At the university.
t-bad: Oh! What do you do?
em: I manage a research lab. Psychology.
t-bad: Oh! Does it make you happy? You sit on the leetle couch?
em: Heh…actually I do research on memory.
t-bad: On what?
em: Memory.
t-bad: On what?
em: Mem…ha, ha.
t-bad: So you work with the leetle rats?
em: Um, no. With people.
t-bad: You know how it is easier to remember some things, like… the ice cream flavors? but harder to remember people’s names? You know?
em: Yeah.
t-bad: You should do experiment…with different ice cream flavors. And different kinds of potatoes! You know? The little…red potatoes and the big white ones?
em: Oh yeah. That…would be interesting.
t-bad: Ah, I missed my stop.
em: Oops.

Today at work I noticed that the green light that the copier gives off is exactly the color of something that would cause one to mutate or develop superpowers. My right hand is constantly exposed to that green light. And so it is only a matter of time before I develop the ability to duplicate things just by poking them with my index finger. (Logic.) This would prove handy in replicating many things (twenty dollar bills, AA batteries, socks) but I’d have to wear a protective glove at times, for certain. Just imagine…I’d be absently petting Binx and wham! a house full of tiny black kitties. Jess’ sheets would never be clean again. Oooh…but at the movies I could eat popcorn forever and the bag would NEVER BE EMPTY.

Okay, best superpower ever.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I should wear protective gloves as well. But only because people hand me wet, sticky things at work. And they really shouldn't. And I want them to die.

Plus, you should start attracting some men that'll make you happy. This does not include men who are deliberately obtuse and/or Austrian. Same diff. Whatev. Use your amazing Seduct-o powers for good!

Night, darlin'!

Ninthmidget said...

Don't touch your eye! Or your clampacket. I think two are enough of those for one lady.

<3<3 Holly

^_^ said...

WTF,"paris texas?!" That is absolutely the worst pseudonym ever. You should be ashamed of yourself. I love you anyways.


And Holly! I do NOT have two clampackets. Don't believe the hype, my friend. Don't believe the hype.